Forgiving

@eccentricsky

Today, I thought about my friends.

Okay, let me clear this out first.

I have a whole lot bunch of acquaintances whom I smile and joke around with and then here comes friends whom I share my life with.

The rest are some people I just tolerate (an inside joke). 

Now back to what I'm saying, I thought about my friends.

Okay, let me clear this out first ... again.

I have childhood friends, and high school friends, and college friends, and church friends, and college/church (pls. read the '/' not with 'or' but with 'slash') friends.




Let me correct myself now that I have made it clear.

Today, I thought about my college/church friends.

And also, how they have hurt me.

If my soul is a body, you'd see a keloid kind of scar somewhere.

Painless but marked.


(Alright, I'm sorry for being too detailed. Funny, I know. I just want you to have a clearer picture of what I want to describe that's why I'm particular. In Tagalog, maarte)


And of course, you'll ask me where did I get it.

And then the story I will tell you.

And you'll be all like, "okay" matched with a poker face reaction.

Now that you know how you are going to react, assume that you already know the story.

Because it's not the story of betrayal that I thought of and wanted to share out.

It's the keloid kind of scar.

K I D D I N G !

But yeah. Kinda.

It's a shame to admit that I was stalking through someone's Instagram account this morning. But a bit thankful tho 'cause it lead me to posting this post through his post that says (did I just annoy you there?):

"Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name." - Scottish Proverb

And there I go. Remembering their names and what they have done. HAHA!

But I feel nothing at all. Nor pain, nor sadness, nor resentment, nor vengeance. But also neither do love, longing and missing, or hope of restoration.

But then I dreamt some of them long before these thoughts come rushing in. They talked to me and they were very warm. No wonder why it was a dream! I was entertaining anyway. I was okay. I still remember what they did but I was okay. And when the time to go home struck and we have to part ways for the mean time, I was still feeling okay about it despite the fact that we haven't all talked for quite a long time already.

In my personal opinion, you get to know yourself sometimes in dreams. 'Cause it is when you dream, you don't have to think of the consequences of your actions. It is what is really inside you — what you really feel like doing matters. More like when you're drunk.

So I therefore conclude that I have a keloid kind of scar in my soul!!

Okay that was a really long kind of introduction. Forgive me.

The sense of this post is really about forgiveness.

I forgive them already. And I'm pretty sure they too, already have.

But hey! Forgiving is a process.

It's not when you lie down before you sleep that you thought not forgiving is a sin so you'll forgive and the very next day, you really nailed it!

Man, forgiveness is a rocket science. At least for me.

But as long as you choose to forgive, you are forgiving.

Deciding to choose to forgive is the treatment. Jesus is the Dermatologist. When He says, "Come back here everyday so that I can apply this to your scar and it shall lighten and disappear in no time" ... do it. And what is that thing He puts? It's His blood. Listen to the Dermatologist's instruction and do not depart from it. Now,  you (and I) are one day closer to the total erasure of your keloid kind of scar.

If you find this post funny or futile,I'm sorry. But I promise! I tried to make sense.